Via La Boite Verte
As you wish…
A soft lipped kiss
A slow slip and suck
Just the tip top…
To reach the point
Where you don’t know
What to do first…
Exhale the breath
You have been holding
All this time
Unclench your fists
And reclench them
In my hair
I’m in no hurry.
Take your time.
I am rather
goddamn it’d be really awesome if I could shake this knot of anxiety that I’m desirable only by virtue of proximity or convenience or my interest…
that’s not a coherent sentence because it’s a knot of stupid, vain anxiety
Impromptu Honesty Hour!
Your interest is a factor in permissibility, not desirability. That’s always been my problem - not allowing myself even to acknowledge desire for someone unless they seem receptive to it.
Remember, I did move here, so it’s hard to say how proximity and convenience factor into it - but they’re not part of desirability. You were desirable to me 4 years ago when you were across the country.
It’s not desirability that’s at issue - just availability. Man, if I didn’t worry about conflicted feelings or consequences…
I appreciate the reassurances, and the feelings are certainly reciprocated.
Unfortunately the anxiety is more complicated and stupid than that (mostly just the nature of anxieties, I suppose), but it does help rather a lot.
Well, hugs all around, if they help. I know how that kind of anxiety can be sticky and ugly.
Hugs are always welcome, whether they solve the problem in question or not.
If it helps at all, I’m across a gorram ocean and desire is definitely a thing. I’m just really bad at pursuing these days, or even talking really. Sorry, not sure if the desire anxiety was specific or general. Offering hugs either way.
"grow a garden in an unexpected spot"